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So carbs....

...are trying to kill me.

Literally and figuratively.

The other day, I was eating a delicious piece of baguette from Panera.

It was small...relax.
And I was eating it with a strawberry poppyseed chicken salad-which was good for me.

Don't judge.

Anyway, the piece of bread was delicious...with the right amount of snap and crusty on the outside and delicious soft gluteny goodness inside. Basically, what Panera does best-the perfect baguette.
I was thoroughly enjoying this combo when suddenly-the crust of the bread separated on one spot and literally pinched the corner of my mouth-drawing blood.
No, I'm not exaggerating.

It made me bleed.

This delicious thing, which I practically worship and love so much-attacked me.
Now I feel like a victim in my own home.

A victim of a vicious carbohydrate attack-an unwarranted one.
I reasoned that maybe it was self defense, I mean...I was EATING it.
But still.
Doesn't a true carb live its whole life to please me? Sustain me? Fatten me?
GIVE ME FUCKING DIABETTUS.

#imoffended.

No but really...you have addicted me with your flava' and your wonderfullness and now...you make me bleed too?
So whatever, asshole bread.
You are dead to me.

Ok, not really...but, still- if I don't chill on the carbs they will either reverse "rolls" (yeah, I did that on purpose)  and eat ME, or they will turn my blood into a lake of sugary sludge that I will fall into and from whence there is no return.

So carbs are trying to eat me.

#i likehashtagsbecausetheylooklikewaffles
#wafflesarecarbstoo
#lowcarbspaghettiisan"impasta"


XOXO,
Breadgirl.

  

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