Tread the boards...

...brag on the kid.


Two topics tonight.

(and yeah, sorry...I haven't written much lately-I am a bad blogger who is going to that special place in hell reserved for people with busy outside lives and who work on their novel instead of chronicling their life. Sue me)

So, first topic...
It's first because it's a little quicker than the second topic.

I'm perusing (again) trying out for a play at our local community jam.

Good times eh?

I feel like I need to try it at least once. If for nothing else, to prove to myself that I can do it-and not just teach it.

And that's it.

Told you it was short. More update later on this and especially whether I even pull the trigger and do it. We shall see. It's a big deal for me...so deep breaths.

So OK...second post.

I pretty much just want to brag on my kid for a few minutes. And you will listen and like it!
I mean-I got to thinking in my car today (and no...I wasn't high-I don't partake) I was just thinking because I came back from his lineman football challenge smiling. I heart so much watching my kid compete. And especially at football. I was on the fence about letting him return to football last year after some concussions with JFL-but after seeing the safety differences in high school compared to junior...I feel better about it.
So, we are a die-hard football family. I love it. I don't subscribe to the controversy-and just enjoy watching the game in general.
Especially my Bubba.

His 6'3-250 lb build makes him perfect for the sport and actually pretty good at it. And again...I love watching him play.

But here's the scoop-he isn't just a jock.

I am amazed that the cool things I have been encouraging in him since...I dunno...BIRTH-are sticking and he is such a well rounded young man.

I mean this.

Everyone brags on their kids-but, seriously-my kid rocks at so many things it is literally astounding.

Let's list them shall we? I mean, so you don't think I am just blowing smoke here.

1. He is a Varsity athlete. He's a left guard and a left tackle on his football team and will be a heavyweight wrestler.  And he really excels at both.

2. He plays bass guitar-and he plays it well.

3. He knows sound equipment and light rigs and how to run it all. Like a pro.

4. He Plays D&D. Yeah...nerdy Dungeons and Dragons and all other Manor of RPG's. And he knows them from front to back...like the smart kids do. He is for real.

5. He is mechanically inclined. He can build and rebuild a car motor and actually did all of the work to his own car to modify it for racing.

6. Speaking of racing...he does that too. He road races his own car in a racing league. And he has won a lot of races. (this scares me a little, but he is also pretty responsible behind the wheel...so it's all good)

7.  He makes his own knives. He saved an entire year to buy his own forge. He literally makes his own steel-he smelts. No...I am not kidding. His knives sell for sometimes upwards of 300 bucks each. No shit.

8. He knows how to ride, care for, and groom horses.

9. He cooks like a beast. At 17...he has more chef mojo than most of the other people I know in the world. I mean, the kid has mad skills. When other kids were asking for a PS3 or a Nerf gun at 12 years old, he was asking for a waffle iron and white truffle oil. 😮

10. This kid is impressive to adults. Adults LOVE him.  He will seek out the most important person in the room, walk up casually and shake his hand and introduce himself...with confidence. he makes eye contact- and can talk on a variety of subjects. NO awkward moments for this kid..he is impressive. It's awesome to watch. And...not to toot my own horn here-it reflects ridiculously positively on me. So essentially, he makes me look really fucking cool. Nice.

I mean...COME ON. This kid though.
I made him.
In my belly.
Mine.

Right???!!! 😮

Look, he has faults too. He's not the best student, per se. He is usually a C and high D average student. He bullshits a lot. I mean, he...tells some tall tales occasionally. And he can be a defiant little shit sometimes. He gets his share of detention at school.

So, not perfect...no.

But, DAMN. He is a well rounded kid. A talented amazement.

That came from me?

Funky as shit, kids.

I guess it was worth blogging about because...I was thinking a lot about it today. And I put it all together in my head and was like...OH SNAP.

Yeah, I know-no one says OH SNAP anymore-I'm old. Fuck ever.

Yeah, my arm is broken from patting myself on the back. Who cares.
Life doesn't have nearly enough triumphs...and I am counting my son as my biggest.

XOXO,

Jadedmama.

 

This too....

...Shall Pass.


So, I am going to re-post a note from my Facebook page from one year ago today.
Mostly to memorialize the whole sad deal, and also...so you readers have some more background to the last three years of my life. And because after three weeks of not seeing my son, I'm a little blue over the whole thing. Reas the title...it's a hope, what can I say?
The last three years have been almost epic- bad in many ways.
And the reason for the blog in the first place was to make fun of myself, for one, and two-to chronicle my weight loss and lifestyle change.
The ultimate goal--to have inner peace and true happiness-not just in love, (because that area is awesome), other areas-not so much-therein lies the catharsis and self-therapizing blog. Yeah, I made that word up-whatever.


Some background:

One year ago my 16 year old son came to me and told me that he wanted a more normal teenaged life. He wanted public high school, (he was homeschooled after 8th grade until last year)
His father was offering a car, racing, football, wrestling, hunting, and all outdoor activities that he loves. Socialization also...that comes with public school.
And without going into too much detail, 6 years prior, his father tried to sue me for full custody.-after ten full years of scant child support and little involvement in his life. He lost. My son wasn't interested in leaving me at the time...but I did tell him that when he turned 16-and was old enough to make that decision on his own and give me a logical explanation-why. He could go, and I wouldn't stop him.
I didn't think he ever would.
He did.

Basically his father could offer him more. And 16 year-olds are selfish. And so the story goes.
Last year was brutal-this just being one of the reasons.

Here is the post I wrote then, and really...how I still feel now.

Enjoy, or cringe. Whatever strikes your fancy.



Drowning.

Not a great word, typically. Unless you say hmm....I am drowning in money, or love, or kittens. You know what I mean, right?

But when you say-I am drowning-without prefacing “IN” something-well, that sounds kinda bad.

Look, before we all get uber-concerned-I am fine. I am not battling major depression, or feeling hopeless, or anything of that sort. But, I do feel a little waterlogged, if you will. The reasons are many, but the one major one is THE one.

THE one I have written small snippets of in random status updates pretty recently.

Most of you have kids. Most of you are married, or happily coupled. I tend to not have a great number of singletons on my page because I am choosy about who I add to facebook-and usually, the singles (please pucker your buttholes and accept the “no offense” part of the post here) are usually drama-laden, and drama doesn’t become me in my old age. Sorry. It is what it is. Oh and, please don’t try to defend it...you know it’s true. Fuckall-when I was single I could barely stand to go back and read my posts-Because- that shit is ridiculous.

The Kids, though. Sigh.

While the young ones are pooping too much or making messes, or saying inappropriate things in public...etc. The tweens are rolling their eyes, lying to you, or pouting about something. The teens-and early adults (the category I fall under) are breaking hearts. Either their prom dates, or their mothers. I am no exception.

Recently, I met with my sons step mother and his father to start the enrollment process for him into public high school. The assistant superintendent seemed nice, albeit a bit scattered. He was genuine but really, just a gatherer of information for his department heads so we can connect all of the dots from Logan’s homeschooling for the last two years. The thing that troubled me most was the fact-that-without meaning to, I’m sure. The man seemed to focus more on step mom, and dad than me. The questions were being asked of her, not me. The talk of custody changes were directed at her, not me. And you’d think being who I am I would like that I might possibly not have to deal with the extra paperwork-but, the mom force is strong in this one. My helicopter was hovering pretty closely to the desk, so to speak. Look, folks...for the last 16 years THIS sort of thing has been my job, my career, my life. It’s much like retiring from a job, or maybe, if you’ll forgive the terrible euphemism-getting out of prison. You get used to something, and it’s a bit devastating when it’s just not there anymore. The responsibility I struggled with in prior years is now-just leaving me. And while I am no “Brooks Hatlen” (please reference your Shawshank Redemption novel now) I am trying to assimilate to life “on the outside” without going mad. It’s sure not easy, and the water is slowly settling over my head.

Relax, I can swim. Fat floats. What? You we’re thinking it...I just said it.

Now, when the meeting was over and step mom and dad asked if I had received the “lawyer papers” I cringed. Hopefully not too visibly-but there you are. I said I had, but hadn’t had a chance to look them over yet. This was a blatant lie. I have read every single word, and admit...I am probably stalling a little in sending them to my lawyer to check. I know it won’t make a difference-in early August, he will be with his father whether I have the paperwork done or not. I guess, I just can’t bring myself to jump right in, you know? When I get into my car, I pulled away feeling a bit numb. Pretty swiftly, though-that numbness turned to tears. Deep, body-wracking, heaving sobs that wouldn’t seem to stop. People in cars next to me gave concerned looks at stoplights. It was a pretty massive meltdown.

The trouble with this whole thing is that I am struggling with the idea of my own co-dependency. I know he will be fine. I know he is taking away 16 years of common sense and vital teachings, and life experience. I know that I have done pretty OK as far as he is concerned. He is truly a great kid. But, how will I be?

I know, I have a fantastic husband, and family...and friends. But, so much of my life was spent worrying-hoping-dreaming-and molding this part of ME, to be without it-so damn soon is just not in my DNA.

I had two more Goddamned years. I feel cheated.

And my purpose-where is that?

I didn’t have much of that before Logan. And figured out pretty quickly-that he was IT. Now, where is it? And a better question...how do I find another one. I have my husband. I have the purpose of being a good wife, and a good person, and so on and so forth-but Reid-with his terribly patient way knows the same emptiness. So, he is supportive and knows in time-or thinks, anyway...that this could be the best thing for all parties involved. I don’t see the surface of the water yet. I just don’t-despite trying with so much difficulty. Trying to be brave so I don’t inadvertently make Logan feel the way my father did when I went to live with my mom. Trying to uphold what’s right for him and not my own selfish bullshit. Trying so desperately to break through the water and do some hoky flip in the air like some ridiculous dolphin.

Or maybe in my case, an Asian Carp. Not nearly as graceful, and pretty Goddamned invasive.

I keep thinking, knowing me...and yes, I am chuckling at my own joke as I write it-that as soon as I do get that jump going there will be some idiot redneck there to send my ass flying with his Louisville Slugger or a spear directly through the heart.

It already feels JUST LIKE THAT. Like a spear, through the heart, only it keeps happening like a fucked up version of deja-vu, or **Dr. Strange and the time stone**

**see comic book nerd uncommon reference.

And I am still underwater. How’s that for some real hurt?

This too shall pass, as they say.

All I am asking for is a life preserver. I may float...but a little help makes it so much easier.




Clinging to the board-

XOXO,

Mother of the Year.

For the love of God...

...Let IT GO.

You know a bit about me because I tell you all the stuff here.

One thing you may not know is this: I am a theater buff. I love the Great White Way and all of that.

A little secret...I typically don't care as much for community theater, but try to get out and see a show occasionally.

**Bows my head

I am an evil non-supporter, I know...but it's typically not that great, acting- wise. Here's the thing...we have lovely singers around here, and they also typically get the parts. Also, there's a political aspect to it...all in who ya know, as they say. It's really true here.
What we don't have are a lot of great triple threat performers. Meaning...a lot can sing, but few can act. And the ones that can act can't sing OR dance.
And, while I can deal with a sour note here and there- I loathe a poorly acted play. I don't care if you can sing or not-you could literally shake the walls with your big, booming, singing voice-but if you can't sell me the part...I'm out.

I could potentially piss people off by saying this, but...as per usual, I don't care. I am who I am.

And, I have a bucket list item to actually perform in some community play (not musical) some day-I think I could sell it. But, I have to be choosy because I know my limitations...and therein lies the problem locally.  Most of the community performers in this area....well...they don't. So they take roles that don't suit them, or they try to sing out of their range, or they just phone it in. Not super impressive by any stretch.
As for me, I know what my weaknesses are...and why I haven't just jumped in to an audition.
First off, I can't sing.
I mean, I do OK, but I can't sing to that level. But...give me a bar full of drunk people, a karaoke mic and some Pat Benatar or Lita Ford-and I will kill that shit.
And I can't dance.
I mean, I do OK, but I can't dance at that level. But, give me some spandex and a Zumba YouTube video in my living room and I will kill that spicy Latin flava, ya'll. Ay Carumba.

Have you seen the Disney hippo in the tutu?

This is why I don't do musicals. Period. I weigh over 200 lbs. I really don't have the urge to break the stage while doing a poor imitation of a grand jete.

So, when a play that I have an interest in comes around and I have the time and no vacation plans...the cards will fall and I will audition. Scary stuff.
I have almost pulled the trigger a few times, even picking up a script a time or two...only to cancel the idea and wait for a show I am really passionate about.  I know what I can do, and what I cannot at 47 years old. I could rock a Auntie Rosie part in Mamma Mia (with mediocre singing) and I could KILL the part of M'Lynn or Ouiser Boudreaux in Steel Magnolias...sure. But, I would never try to jump up and play Roxy Hart (Chicago) or Sandy (Grease)
Again, I know my limitations.

Tonight is the theater grande...The Tony Awards. And I am blogging and watching and lamenting the fact that Carousel is even being revived and has many nods. Why? Seriously...a terrible show.
But, that's obviously just my opinion.
And Spongebob Squarepants-The Musical?
Were we really that desperate for good shows that we are digging out of the Nickelodeon file for good material?  Is green slime next? Maybe "You can't do that on Television"-The Musical. Come ON. Let's step it up a bit shall we???
Original plays/musicals have become almost obsolete. And that's kinda sad given that playwrights are typically the most creative people, um...I dunno...On the PLANET.

Now, Angels in America revival...hell yeah. I am hoping for many awards on that front. Mostly because it is ridiculously amazing, well written, and performed. And the subject matter...important. Tony Kushner is one of my favorite playwrights aside from Chris Durang.

And lookie...Nathan Lane just won for Angels. Nice. And a bit later...BEST REVIVAL! Yep yep! Awesome!

But back to the questions about the poor creativity...

I love the fact that Broadway is trying to relate to everyone. They are doing what they think they should to pull an audience they haven't had.
I call this "theater lite"
Plays in the past that have qualified for this moniker:
1. Cats
2. Mamma Mia (which I personally love)
3. ANY Disney adaptation
4. Grease
5. Wicked

These are just a few examples that stick in my mind.
But the 6th one I am going to mention will, I'm sure, have people throwing rotten tomatoes at their computer screens and yelling BOOOOO at full volume.
But, whatever. I'm scrappy. Bring it.

Hamilton.

Yeah, I said it.

Before you react...let me explain-Theater lite is not necessarily a terrible thing. It means exactly what it says...lite brand of theater, non-stuffy, fun for an entire audience. A musical that even those who don't frequent theater would enjoy watching. Good energy, an easy watch.

My point is, I get it. I understand Broadways attempt to take a chunk away from movie goers and draw numbers. An attempt at "hipness" if you will.
Put butts in the theater seats, and not just the multiplex.
But, I think now...it's getting out of hand.
When Spongebob Squarepants is becoming the nominee, or even Mean Girls, and a few years ago...Legally Blonde.
Harry Potter. Which, I adore. But The Cursed Child was a terrible book...not even close to J.K.'s imagination and talent...and it is also a big time showing this year.
No.

We gotta get back to basics.

Last year's The Great Comet was insanely awesome and cool. Decidedly NOT theater lite, based on Tolstoy's insanely long novel-War and Peace. I mean, come ON. The imagination it had to take to turn that dour, long, breathy, wordy amalgam of War and love and triumph-that people were standing hours in line to see. A visual, beautiful, beautifully sung and acted stage...
The book alone was remarkable.
Now that's theater. And what we have to do to get back to less theater lite, and more theater AMAZING.

I think we can do it.

I guess they just have to decide to be true to the craft and less about the cash. Which seldom happens, I know. But, Broadway has mostly always been the rebel baby of the entertainment world. Second to movie stars and reality television. Now is the time to grasp that same integrity and start wowing us with viscerally stunning, well acted, and original plays and musicals. Musicals NOT based on a Disney animated film.

Happy to see that The Band's Visit won best musical. Maybe, just maybe...we are on our way to that. One can only hope.

I'll just leave this as my parting shot:

PS...I didn't make this meme, fyi...it appears I am not the only person who feels this way. Just sayin.

One singular sensation.

XOXO,
Theatergirl.