People...

...Who make headbands and bad food.

Everything Rachel Ray makes on her show is a little gross. or a little stupid, or a lot fattening and high in calories.
I mean...why do I gotta watch WTVP to see healthy recipes?
Does network TV not grasp the health trends?

Well, if you happen to be one of the other cool 6 of us who do watch WTVP...or PBS for those who have zero clue... Create channel specifically-you folks who are cool like me know that you have to navigate that channel pretty particularly-even IF they do a better job in that vein. But you must be wary...
Cause this:
1. Pati's Mexican Table.
2. The Jazzy Vegetarian.
3. Make Your Mark.
4. The Katie Brown Workshop.

I'll comment...just give me a sec to breathe and not spew too much venom.

We'll start with the least to the worst annoying (those above were in no particular order, fyi)

The least annoying of these four shows is The Katie Brown Workshop.
I find her personality snitty, and her works- talentless.
She makes terrible food-that lacks presentation and is zero-inspired.
Her crafts are...um...not good. But, that said...she works some interesting ideas with what she has. This is not to say that the ideas come to fruition with any practical use or style, but the ideas, at the very least...aren't terrible.
Her whole show just reminds me of one big Pinterest Fail, frankly.

The second least annoying-bordering on ridiculous show is The Jazzy Vegetarian.
Look, people. I have no problem with the vegan lifestyle. A plant based diet-if you can swing it, happens to be the most healthy way to eat-period. I believe it. I could never do it, mind you. Dairy free, meat free and even some grains...nope. But, I don't hate on those who take this lifestyle on. It's hardcore to say the least, and kudos to those who do-including this weirdo broad...but her show? SO STUPID.
First of all...she can't sing. I mean, frame of reference here-she obviously sings better than say-Roseanne Barr, or ME. But, that's not a stretch, folks. She's jazzy with no heart. No soul. Like an Elon Musk version of Etta or Ella. And white. Pure white.
Basic bitch Jazz. It's a new market.
Ok, not really.
Her food? Disgusting. And yeah sure, like I said before- vegan food takes a special person. But I seriously cannot imagine. Have you ever tasted a vegan chocolate chip? Or sprouted tofu? One tastes like...cocoa with sandpaper grit, and the other tastes like wallpaper paste or cardboard Spackle.
She could build a fucking house with those ingredients.
The show should be called: The Jazzy carpenter! Able to sing badly while sheet-rocking your new bedroom with TOFU. This Old House needs some Bean paste-STAT!
Ugh.

The second MOST annoying show is Make Your Mark.
Crafts.
More crafts.
More BAD crafts.
At least Katie Brown has ideas. This guy...doesn't have ONE legit brain cell, let alone creative craft idea in his head.
🤷‍♀️ Mean? Maybe a little, but I'm fat...so whatever.
This guy over here (said in my lamest wiseguy accent)
Mousy, feminine personality, vapid...and seriously...HOW did this guy get his own show?
The shit he makes is romper room-esque- and I call it shit because...it IS.
And get this, the host was a former fashion designer and personal stylist. I would LOVE to see some of the "fashions" he designed. For laugh factor alone.
Keep in mind, this guy is a grown man.
Grown.
Yet, please see below for an example of the "crafts" he has created on his show.
Disclaimer: Nope...not making it up, it's for real.

How about a nice crocheted ensemble for your cat? Paris would be in awe!

Or...a hand crafted Christmas Pom Pom headband? Yessss. NO. 

Look ultra wealthy with this jewel-encrusted pair of Walmart shades...(all that's missing is the fake DG logo on the side!) Wear to your favorite country club or Polo match! Be careful though...if you accidentally drop them someone could mistake them for a pile of horse crap!

So, I made a picture of my mom with dried lentils and kidney beans when I was in 2nd grade. I hear that's next week's episode.
I actually saw a kit at the DOLLAR TREE for making those snazzy Christmas pom pom headbands.
Producer: So Mark..what's on the agenda today?
Mark: Oh, I have a big show...I'm going to stick Betty Boop Stickers on an Ikea mirror! It's so creative and beautiful! And so chic! That'll be 40 grand please. (holds out hand) Why PBS, WHY?


Last but not least...the piece de resistance...

#1 WORST show on PBS...

Pati's Mexican Table.

Mexican.

Nope, she straight-MEXI-CANT!

Oh relax people, it's not a race or culture thing. I'm speaking specifically about HER.
She's just the worst.
Her high-pitched, nasal, ditzy, wide-eyed, platitudes and Charo hoochie- coochie-like presentation is like nails on a chalkboard.
She includes her kids, and you can visibly see the disdain on their faces as she pinches their cheeks and throws her head back in crazed laughter. There's a horror movie here, somewhere...I can feel it.
Her food is basic Mexican that you can find at many places in my town (which isn't huge-and nowhere near Mexico) and she licks her fingers when she cooks-ON AIR. She licks her fingers and sticks them back into the same bowl and feeds it to people. (seriously, makes me want to hurl) I don't know what's more grotesque, her voice...or her bad sanitary standards?
Ew.

I can't say more without getting more mean. 
I avoid like the plague.
The worst thing is that PBS likes to give her marathon days. 6 hours of her. Who would watch that? Who could watch that?
Ugh. PBS. No.

At least though, PBS does a good job with other programming, like Julia Child (no, not healthy cooking by any stretch...) But she's a delight to watch and she makes such amazing food (God rest her soul)
And Jacques Pepin, and And A Chef's Life, and so many more.
They emphasize locally sourced food, gardening and healthy lifestyle.
Why haven't the networks? do they think the women watching are all...well, like me?

I kid. Sorta.
I just think Rachel needs to tone down on the fats and fried wares and grill a veggie every now and then. Leave the butter to Paula Deen. She has a particular following.
Maybe it's because Rachel is so used to making dog food. Who knows?

Not delish.


So...Beyond that ridiculous bitch-fest, the scale read 20 pounds down today. Not sure if I believe that number. But, I plan to make a trip to a legit scale this week to confirm.
My birthday present is failing me, I think.

If it isn't....yay me.

Haven't been over 1600 calories in a month. And walk at least 2 miles a day.

I know I am losing, but still unsure about how much in reality.

More when I know.

For now...PBS, take a look at your celebs-and networks, let's do some semblance of healthy food, ok?

And lastly...I got a job today. It's been a productive month.


PBS nerd life.

XOXO,
Criticgirl.