Job Hunting...

...Much like growing old...is NOT for sissies.

PE#1 (prospective employer): Can you lift over 50 pounds for over 6 hours a day? Boxes of books and such?

Me: Yes. I can do that.

PE#1: Oh. Um. OK. Well, I'm kinda looking for a guy-its a full day of lifting.

Me: Ok. I understand.

PE#1: Sorry, I should have been clear.

Me: No worries. Good luck in your search.

PE#2 The position you applied for in the office is filled, but I have other positions in the store that are available. Do you have any restaurant experience?

Me: I have a great deal of restaurant experience, would you like to review my food service resume?

PE#2 Yes, please.

Me: Great! I'll send along to you.

(two days later)

PE#2 I reviewed your resume and regret to inform you that we have no open management positions available at this time. The open positions we have available are typically counter and drive through-which we find you to be drastically overqualified for. If something comes up soon, we will be happy to schedule an interview. Thank you for your interest.

Me; (to self) ASSHOLE.

Me: Hi, my friend has recommended me to your agency, and we actually interviewed for the same position last year. If you remember me, I think I was one of two of the final candidates and you went with someone else. I see you have the same position open again, which I feel would be a great fit-given my seasonal position in my career. I'd love to sit down and chat again if you are interested.

PE#3 Yes, I do remember you. Good to hear from you. Actually, I do not have a copy of your resume handy...can you please send me another?

Me; Absolutely.

PE#3 I can look it over and call you in the next few days if that's ok?

Me: No problem at all. I can be available any time.

PE#3 Great-thanks for calling!

Me: You're welcome, I'll send that resume right away.

PE#3 Talk soon, and thanks!

(7 days later)

Me: Hello, Mr. ___ I was following up to see if you did receive my resume as requested.

I can be available at your convenience to sit down and discuss the open position.

Thank you again for your time.

(2 days later)

No response.

PE#4 (After a 1 hour phone interview and a 1 hour long basic skills and marketing test that I passed with flying colors.)

I should mention that you will have to pay in advance for licensing to be able to perform the job. It would be somewhere around $1000.

But, you can use the license anywhere. So it's worth it.

Is this something you would be interested in?

Me: (in my head) WTF????!!!!

Me: (on the phone) Oh. Well, I don't think I will have that kind of cash up front at the present time, I'm sorry. Could I work for awhile and earn it back through payroll deduction? I'm open to that.

PE#4 I'm sorry, but no. We can't afford to pay for every prospective candidate in case they decide the job isn't for them. I'm sure you understand.

Me: Sure. Thanks again for your time.

Me: (after hanging up the phone) ASSHOLE.

I don't get these people.

Every stinkin' year I go through this shit. And it's not only destroying my entire birthday/Mother's Day weekend...but also making me depressed.

It's like-between hearing at home: You have to find something soon!

To the voice in my own head saying: Gee, having some money to be able to have dinner at your own birthday party would be fucking swell.

I'm pretty much over it already.

The worst of it is. I may just have to quit my coaching job. The one thing (besides my husband and my kids) that truly gives me joy.

All because this endless cycle every year...and now child support that I have to pay-for a kid that I wish was with me full time. The same kid who is mostly unhappy living with his father (all because he has good character and is sticking to his guns and because he wants to play football)

And paying child support to a man who barely ever paid his until my son turned 12.

12 year in arrears. We struggled, we suffered, and we went without...

All because his father never paid.

Now, I am paying HIM. And now I am unemployed.

And as usual...no one sees my worth in the job market. And the ones that do...won't work around my speech schedule in the fall.

Same old shit, same month. Every year.

Hey Sallie Mae. You want that college loan money back...why don't you just come and take back this Goddamned degree. I'm not using it anyway.

-Another day in paradise, as they say.

And a depressing Mother's Day and 47th Birthday ahead.

Good times.

Someone better buy me a fucking chocolate cake. That's all I'm sayin'

Digging my whole.

XOXO,

Frustratedgirl.