Skip to main content

This BMI thing...


...is bullshit. 



So, I checked my BMI and calculated it.

I'm obese. 

This is something I knew, but...here is what I didn't...

Apparently, for a woman my height-5'9 and a half-ish. 
Yeah, I'm tall too. If you watched the movie Deuce Bigelow-I'm the "big bitch" that you never see in full camera. 
I promise it's me. 

So, what I didn't know was that-to have a "normal" BMI...I have to weigh...

Get this-
160. One hundred and sixty pounds. 

To put this into a frame of reference for you, I haven't weighed 160 since I was like, um...I dunno...SIX. 

So, when I saw this insanity they call: truth in healthy weight-I recoiled. 

What in the bloody hell?

160? 

My goal was to lose 50 pounds...which was lofty in its pursuit...or so I thought. 
70 pounds is not impossible, I know. But damn...

These are the times that make you wonder...How did I ever let myself get to this point?
I mean, look...I ingested 1500 calories today. Here is what I ate:
My husband and I split an order of fajitas for dinner...with salsa and chips and a side of tasty AF guac from our favorite Mexican place. I ate the tortillas and he ate his share with chips. It was delicious and I was full...even after splitting. 
I had a turkey sandwich on French bread for lunch with lettuce, mustard, and pepper jack cheese with a side of three bean salad and a portion of baked Lays chips. I was full. 
I had a protein bar with coffee for breakfast. 
Full enough. 
I had two pieces of string cheese, and three small pieces of celery with peanut butter for snacks. 
Not full, but satisfied. They are just in between snacks. 
I also had one fountain Coke with dinner and a diet Dr. Pepper with lunch. And three bottles of water through the day. 

THIS is 1500 calories. 

And I exercised today, and walked my hour this evening-which burned almost 500 calories. 

So, my point is...the amount of food I was apparently taking in before this change, had to be astronomical. Maybe I wasn't eating a LOT, but I was eating a LOT of calories. Junk food. Chips, buttery oil popped popcorn, mug cakes, full bars of dark chocolate, 2-3 12 oz Pepsi's per day, no exercise and practically zero water.

But why was I doing this? 
What exactly was the motivation here? 

I like to eat...that's no secret. I like good food. Rich food. Fatty food. Delicious food that makes you gleek at the thought of it. (you don't know what gleek is? Oh for fucks sake...look it up...I'm kind of in a mood)
But while I was in Florida a few months ago, surrounded by this food, whole lobsters, gobs of pasta, barbecue and fries and mayo laced coleslaw, and fried fish...I looked in the mirror while stuffing my face and thought...whoa.
That'll do pig. That'll do. 

Meanwhile, I still want a Goddamned donut, but haven't had one. The craving is literally driving me insane. Still...I drive past Dunkin every day and walk past the case at the grocery store a couple of times a week-and now, something stops me. 
The will to live comes to mind. 

It's all relative. 

I guess #eatyourselftodeath never really caught on in the current #roseannesucks and #metoo world. 

What can I say, I gave it the old college try. 

So, not much progress to report today...walking was hard today...it's hot, and humid. Food was plentiful, but I stayed under. 
I'll update weight next week-my tummy is bloated right now...poop issues. Don't ask. (not like you would, anyway) 

My day has been pretty typical...but Facebook has pissed me way off. This Roseanne Barr crap is just...ugh. It's another controversy to occupy people's minds and put more negativity out into the ether of social media. 
And make me roll my eyes and marvel at the sheer naivety of the masses. 

If you think she didn't put that tweet out on purpose...you are 5. Or blind. Or, just retarded. (whom did I offend with that word?)
Guess what...I don't care...it's my party, folks. 

Now, back to watching a talent gone far too soon in A Knights Tale...

I hope we can all heal from this terrible Roseanne tragedy and move on with our lives now. 
UGH. 



I'm sure you can literally see my rolling my eyes from your seats. 

Roseanne is fat too you know. 
How DARE you bully her.

It's called a launce....helloooo?

Good times. 

Creamy peanut butter even makes celery taste good. Huh. 

XOXO, 
BMI hater girl. 








Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

They Don't All...

...Wear Capes. I can appreciate the upcoming holiday for the most part. I mean, I love my son-and love my daughter. They are by far, the best reason I can think of to carry on-even when life seems long. (which isn't often, to qualify) But, Mother's Day always sparks a bit of melancholy for me. Ok so,  My mom. She's dead. Ok, ok...I am not leaving it there-relax. My mom...who I judge, a lot. Yes, even though she's gone. I still do it. I think of my skills as a mom and hers and think-OFTEN- that...my mom could have done this. She could have accomplished this. She could have been better as far as I am concerned. She left me with so much shit-as you have probably seen in my reading. My neurosis is SO deep. My anxiety, my fear, my negativity, my coldness, my jaded and misanthropic nature, my inability to connect with people, and my anger. The shit. Sometimes I look at her picture on the wall, and I don't feel sad...I feel pissed off. And then guilt becaus...
Post a Comment
Read more

The Scale...

...Was wrong. So my birthday gift was great. I mentioned it before. A digital scale that measures weight, body composition, fat, etc... A nice scale. It doesn't work for me. Apparently, you have to stand statue still and if you shift your weight even a millimeter-it scrolls back and forth on numbers and just picks one at random. Fuck. So, what I thought was a 16 pound deficit-was not. In an effort to gain understanding of a correct weight...I accompanied my hubby to his physical therapy appointment and asked his therapist if I could step on their scale to be accurate. It wasn't calibrated. It didn't work either. Damnit, man. So, since my own GP is close...right across the street, I decided to see if they could let me weigh in there. They have a jumbo scale. Proper and steady. The conversation went like this: Receptionist: Hi, how can I help you? Me: Um...weird request, but Dr. G would like me to monitor my weight because of my fasting blood sugar, I...
Post a Comment
Read more

The Cottage Cheese Stands Alone...

I love summer.  I love the small (the middle between summer and fall)  I love fall.  Not a fan of spring. Awful allergy inducing, rainy, constant shat of weather. Windy, cold one day, hot the next. Zero idea of what to wear to work...spring SUCKS.  And don't even get me started on winter in Illinois. BAG OF DICKS level, suckage.  Hate SO much.  Summer is my jam.  Yes, it's hot. Yep...fat girl. It does not mix. The humidity is awful. That corn sweat is definitely a thing.  Underboob, underfupa, underarms. Sweaty, gross, mess, stinkage.  Oh stop cringing...it's not like you can't relate.  I mean, unless you are a skinny chick/dude. In which case...whatever. Enjoy the icicle snot rockets forming under your nose in the cool of a properly air conditioned home.  (If you keep your thermostat higher than 74 when it's hot-don't invite me to your terrarium, you lizard.)  Anyway, my point.  For this summer lovin' girl, or old lady-wh...
Post a Comment
Read more