...Wear Capes. I can appreciate the upcoming holiday for the most part. I mean, I love my son-and love my daughter. They are by far, the best reason I can think of to carry on-even when life seems long. (which isn't often, to qualify) But, Mother's Day always sparks a bit of melancholy for me. Ok so, My mom. She's dead. Ok, ok...I am not leaving it there-relax. My mom...who I judge, a lot. Yes, even though she's gone. I still do it. I think of my skills as a mom and hers and think-OFTEN- that...my mom could have done this. She could have accomplished this. She could have been better as far as I am concerned. She left me with so much shit-as you have probably seen in my reading. My neurosis is SO deep. My anxiety, my fear, my negativity, my coldness, my jaded and misanthropic nature, my inability to connect with people, and my anger. The shit. Sometimes I look at her picture on the wall, and I don't feel sad...I feel pissed off. And then guilt becaus...
And, I'm pretty sure I'm not leaving until I get some.

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