Skip to main content

I know what I said, but...

...I have some word vomit.

So, whether it is a good thing or a bad thing-here is a post.

I have a little downtime today so, yep.



Observations on swimsuits.

First of all, they are required in most pools. But the ocean doesn't mind.
Which made me consider not taking one on the trip.
A woman who goes to Florida without a swimsuit? Blasphemy you say?

No, sanity, actually.

You see...while I have preached on about mirror avoidance-when you have to be in front of people other than your awesome husband in Lycra and spandex-ON PURPOSE...the mirror is kind of important. You have to try on the things and look at the "things" in the mirror to make sure that you don't look like someone might mistake you for-say a---beached whale or because it is Florida...a manatee or something. But, here's how I know that I won't be mistaken. My Lycra water resistant material and fat container is actually black with white polka dots. You don't see many whales or manatees for that matter- with polka dots...the the likelihood of that is at least...slim. (unlike me...in a swimsuit-or clothes...or skin)
Sigh.

I mean...what is the deal with swimsuits? They don't hide anything. They actually accentuate things that you don't want accentuated. Like FAT. Like creases, like dimples, and worst of all...cottage cheese. This is cellulite, for those of you who don't know-and,  By the way...I hate you.

So my thinking was that I could totally get away without taking one...
I can do the full sundress in the ocean, yeah?

Ok, ok....I know I need to take the damn thing. I know because there could be a pool at some point. Hopefully I can stay away from people. Or maybe I could just paint myself green and go as the creature from the black lagoon? With polka dots.
I'm fat....not un-stylish.

The mirror was cruel. As always.

I'm sorta kidding, by the way. I know how absolutely frightening I look in a swimsuit-but anyone who doesn't want to look...doesn't have to.
I will be wearing my dots proudly and hoping to avoid fisherman's nets.

And the diet is still not going well. I'm considering speaking with my doctor about a pill, maybe. Something to help. Because just eating right (and mostly not eating right) is not working. I haven't lost a pound. Not even one.
I haven't gained anything-so there's that. But while I have lost a lot through my life-weight is not one of those things.
But, I did have a nice lunch today. A vinaigrette quinoa bowl with veggies. It was actually pretty tasty-low cal, low carb, high protein, heart healthy.
But, I haven't been doing that everyday. And therein lies the problem.

And I'm sure while on vacation...I won't be good, even with effort. Sigh.

So, what I am planning on is this...until I speak with the doctor.

Swimsuit-check.
Mirror-check.
Full body mirror selfie in said polka dot monstrosity-check.
Post on fridge (as soon as we get home from Florida)

That should keep me in...... Check.

Ok, probably not-but there are worse ways.

I actually split the leg of my shorts from last year when I put them on today.

#thestruggleisreal.

XOXO,
Bathing (not so) beauty.





Comments

Popular posts from this blog

They Don't All...

...Wear Capes. I can appreciate the upcoming holiday for the most part. I mean, I love my son-and love my daughter. They are by far, the best reason I can think of to carry on-even when life seems long. (which isn't often, to qualify) But, Mother's Day always sparks a bit of melancholy for me. Ok so,  My mom. She's dead. Ok, ok...I am not leaving it there-relax. My mom...who I judge, a lot. Yes, even though she's gone. I still do it. I think of my skills as a mom and hers and think-OFTEN- that...my mom could have done this. She could have accomplished this. She could have been better as far as I am concerned. She left me with so much shit-as you have probably seen in my reading. My neurosis is SO deep. My anxiety, my fear, my negativity, my coldness, my jaded and misanthropic nature, my inability to connect with people, and my anger. The shit. Sometimes I look at her picture on the wall, and I don't feel sad...I feel pissed off. And then guilt becaus...

The Cottage Cheese Stands Alone...

I love summer.  I love the small (the middle between summer and fall)  I love fall.  Not a fan of spring. Awful allergy inducing, rainy, constant shat of weather. Windy, cold one day, hot the next. Zero idea of what to wear to work...spring SUCKS.  And don't even get me started on winter in Illinois. BAG OF DICKS level, suckage.  Hate SO much.  Summer is my jam.  Yes, it's hot. Yep...fat girl. It does not mix. The humidity is awful. That corn sweat is definitely a thing.  Underboob, underfupa, underarms. Sweaty, gross, mess, stinkage.  Oh stop cringing...it's not like you can't relate.  I mean, unless you are a skinny chick/dude. In which case...whatever. Enjoy the icicle snot rockets forming under your nose in the cool of a properly air conditioned home.  (If you keep your thermostat higher than 74 when it's hot-don't invite me to your terrarium, you lizard.)  Anyway, my point.  For this summer lovin' girl, or old lady-wh...

Collecting Unemployment...

...Is the new 30. So. I am an operations manager for a local company. Last week, the owner and I-in anticipation of a rise in business due to the upcoming holiday season, decided to run an employment ad. We want to hire 2 people. The procedure for this was-send a job application/resume to our page at Facebook. If you are qualified for the position, I instructed that I would send that candidate 5 follow up questions via email before we go forward in setting up a face to face interview. We got about 20 responses pretty quickly after we posted the ad. Out of the 20 I pre-screened (checked the qualifications on the app, looked at the Facebook pages if they had an open page, and made sure that the application was filled out correctly to confirm they could follow directions) I chose 10 of those 20 people to send the 5 questions to. Out of those 10...not one response. (crickets...taps mic...is this thing on???) So after this-I send reminders to each person via Facebook mess...